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Readers comment: Great piece.. My facial expression just changed suddenly because i realized this is also about me.

So the other day i found my high school diary (yes, i kept a diary) and through fighting the tears i discovered a lot of dreams, hopes, desires and fantasies. By 25 I was supposed to be driving a car, a successful writer, a cozy mansion in Kileleshwa, married to a sexy successful engineer or chef (hihihihihi), sorted all my parents bills and on the screens of several tvs.

While I have appeared on ‘Prankstars’ (how could i get pranked like that?), I haven’t learnt how to drive, not like I have a car or a steady source of car purchase let alone a tour around Kileleshwa. And yes I am very single. The writing? Well you guys give me at least 3 minutes of your time, so I guess that’s parfait! Hits blunt!

The rest of that day went by with a lot of staring, some tears, and the agonies of a failed life. ”Fuck I am a failure”. I went online to break my heart even more. I find a text from a Campus friend asking me out for Terrific Tuesdays meet up to celebrate her 70k first job. Am very happy for my friend but how come I haven’t gotten that or had the will to whatsoever? Another message came in from my High school Whats app Group. Two of our classmates are getting married and one just announced the delivery of a bouncing baby girl! My friend Pato (who said he’d never marry) is living with his wife and kid in Kitengela. Well, congrats??? I dont know? Yay Maybe?

Just the other day I was added to two baby-shower groups and my campus best friend told me she is moving in with her boyfriend. Am also in the committee of my ex-girlfriend’s wedding. Good luck there ex! (Dont worry she doesn’t read this blog). A month ago my mother’s friend came visiting with her 21- year -old daughter who drove them and has a well-paying i-dont-depend-on-my-parents fucking salary. This cut deep. What the fuck is happening? Did I miss something? Clearly cause I feel like am in the wrong planet? “Could I get off for ten minutes dear driver?”

I decided to pay some friends (the ones who are not in a meeting) a visit and also talked to a couple of cousins. My friend Eddy is getting the “utaniletea mtu lini?” talk while he hasnt even moved of his parents house. Another one complained of a familiar identity crisis. Questions about “who am I?” are common in all my circles. “Life is not as it seemed when we were in high school or in campus. Its like it turned upside down and we just have to move” says my cousin Lilian. “Me ata nimeacha kufikiria coz naona kama naeza creki,” complains short Karo.

After consulting Dr. Google, we realized that what we are going through is a quarter-life crisis. Apparently, people around 25 and above around the world show positive signs of the stage.

Quarter-life crisis is a cousin to mid-life crisis. You might have seen some of it in your parents. Come all ye who are heavy burden. If you feel like a bum living in your parents house, you ought to feel that way. You are not alone if you have applied for several jobs and the only feedback you got was a rejection e-mail that said you should not lose hope. You are not alone if you realized you might have to get employed rather than start your own business. You are not alone if you no longer afford street smokies or fare at times. You are not a failure, bum or stupid if you feel lost and you don’t know what the fuck to do. (You )We are all just growing.

Our parents did it early and that’s because that was their life. I still dont get how they could get married at 21, have kids and have a job to sustain them. But then, their times were different. Back then having a university degree was a big deal and they could easily get a job. Look at yourself with your bachelor’s wondering whether you should just go back to school so you don’t face the reality. Also back then, it meant a great deal to become parents and begin a life with someone. Millennials have the freedom of choice and we can decide when and if we want to follow their steps. Still you want to handle your own shit before you can handle another’s. Also, you want some time to get job security and enjoy these vanities before getting cuffed. There’s a lot you want to do before you get to 30 which seems to be running towards us. What is the deal with 30?

If you are going through a similar situation, share with us. Tell us how your quarter-life crisis is taking you. Right there on the comment section. Don’t be shy to share with your friends.

Readers comment: The question that pinches me every time,”So, where do you see yourself in 5 years?” I don’t know where am at right now, how am I supposed to know the future?!

By Wambui Ochieng'

Radical Feminist

7 thoughts on “This Quarter-life crisis”
  1. That question that pinches me every time,”So, where do you see yourself in 5 years?” I don’t know where am at right now, how am I supposed to know the future?!!

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