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You’re probably thinking underwater creature and his best friend…


Gotta Admit! That was a great show. We even had a teacher we use to call Sponge bob in high-school -not because of their awesomeness. It totally had nothing to do with their personality. We are vain creatures! Where you at Nax-Gee?

Too bad this is not the Sponge bob am narrating about today.

Hey Zimmerman people? Zimmerians? ( We are working on a better name. We will probably not change it). Watu wa baze pitisha icho kindukulo! This one is dedicated to you.

I met Sponge bob one day when I was walking along the super highway. From Roysambu to Githurai. It was a warm Thursday evening and the sun was setting nicely. The highway was as it normally is during that time of day. Not much traffic and the cars speed up to and from Nairobi. They were cruising freely aware that in an hour Githurai would turn into a bumper-to-bumper, lost phones- wallets and purses, fake and real accidents, pee-pee and wiuu wiuuu wiuuu scenario. Some men from a mjengo site nearby were heading home, chatting loudly and some cat-calling making useless inuendos.

I saw a group of girls, maybe around age 12 to 13, watching some spectacle near an expansive bush close to the highway. They were giggling, holding their chins and each other, mesmerized, naively and fearfully. Okay… I was about fifty meters away from them and was excited to see it too. The girls then ran away giggling and whispering.

There he was. Sponge bob! He was moving back and forth wiping his forehead off sweat.

After a step or two I was able to see him clearly.

He was a big man. Big African Man. He was as dark as the first man. His eyes- now opening and closing in trepidation- were menacingly big. He looked like he could be late in his late twenties or early thirties. He wore a would-be secondary boys school uniform. Dark green sweater, light blue shirt and grey trousers.

His trousers were pulled down just below his ass. He was fucking something or someone. I couldn’t see properly.

Then I saw it.

The sponge.

He was moving in and out of it, drilling, thrusting.


Sponge bob was in Utopia with his mistress. He was pumping in and out. Removing his ‘member’ and hitting it on the sponge. Molding the sponge into different forms so he could get better penetration.

I was shocked beyond words-That’s why this story is so deficient of them.

I felt like a young baby suddenly dropped in this world. I have seen many things, heard many things, been told somethings and watched a lot of things but this I had never seen. Forget the sponge- (though i really cant)- cause I have watched American Pie. But in public?

I walked away after I had gotten enough for this story. On my way home I wondered about the pleasure he got from the Sponge and why- in that particular area and at that specific time. Bush, sponge, four o’clock.

I thought about it for some few days. Part of it shocked me and most of it just wanted answers.

I met Sponge-bob again around two weeks from that day.

It was around 11 am. I was with a friend on the rooftop a building next to Sponge-bob’s love nest. The rooftop provides a perfect view of the bush. You’d think you are in the cinema. People take a dump while watching for by-passers. Others hide stuff in those bushes. Some go in to masturbate. And most go in to have the normal 4.20 break.

That day he was wearing a green jacket and carrying a red paper bag. Inside was the famous light blue sponge.

He was walking at a very comfortable pace. Looking down and clutching to his lover possessively.

He got to his spot. Set his tools down. Lowered his pants and put his hand around his, you know what, member. He rubbed back and both and when it was turgid let out his baby. And there I was. Exposed to free, weird, unsolicited porn!

Nowadays I often meet Sponge-bob. He does not have a specific time, just a specific venue. He does not come on a specific day but you could meet on many Thursdays.

Been wondering if I should go interview him. He could be friendly, right? I could even ask for a photo and footage for my Sponge-Bob Part 2Sponge Bob Breaks The Silence. I know! That would be a good one.

By Wambui Ochieng'

Radical Feminist

4 thoughts on “The Story of Spongebob”
  1. I’m thinking this Guy’s name is Bob… judging from what hes doing to the sponge 🧽😂😂😂😂 sooooo funny. Do an interview with Bob 🙏🏽

  2. I am thinking that your teacher’s body full of yellow because of paint tragedy. So funny.. isn’t it ? hahaha. absolutely loved your page. thank you for share

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