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dear jerk,
hi jerk. I hope you are well and doing fine.  I am perfectly alright. last time I heard of you was that you are now painting nails in kariobangi’s soko ya mawe. am I allowed to laugh?  so anyway I hope you are also curing your broken pride. hahaha!  that’s quite funny. are you still with Jane?  guess not.  I heard she is somewhere in coast with her latest sugar daddy who is filthy rich. she calls him ‘ the man of her dreams! ‘ funny she said about you back when you left me for her. I was going down memory lane and I remembered all our wonderful times and I thought sharing a few memoirs wouldn’t do any harm. remember when we first met,  jerk? how good you were to me?  you know.  how you would make fun of me when you passed by with your friends,  jerk?  how that day you guys scared me while I was bathing at the river?  how you stole my clothes and left them near the road?  the public one,  jerk?  remember how your brother used to bully mine in school?  funny now he keeps hovering around my brother like a ghost.  tell him to stop it please,  jerk.  or we will be forced to take legal action. funny,  that’s what your proud mom told me when I came to tell you that I was pregnant. wow!  “young girl if you value your freedom you will stop bothering my son or we will be forced to take legal action! ” sorry I put an exclamation mark,  it’s just how she said it I thought it would be better if it had one!  imperative you know!  sorry if you have forgotten all the English you knew.  don’t worry Jerk,  it will be okay. oh!  karma!  that’s what I told you when you lied that your grandma had died in Europe and that’s why you had to leave kenya. by the way she is quite healthy in my house and she takes care of your daughter just so nicely jerk. oh jerk,  remember how you told me you were so in love with me and all those little pranks were your way of showing me what you felt deep inside?  remember how you watched me get all shy and hold you so tight?  remember how I would wait upon you every day while you were going for tuition so that you could squeeze my hand and lie while you looked in my eye?  remember how innocent I was, jerk? running after you while you road your bicycle to that forest where you would do to me as that bicycle?  it’s was only two seconds jerk. but hey I still got my princess Hope even after.  poor jerk!  your grandma keeps on telling me to forgive you and accept you in my life!  isn’t that just funny,  jerk? you see I already have someone in my life. hope knows that he is her father and he will be forced to take legal action if you as much as looked at her one kilometer away. you see I aborted your child as your mom told me to so you have no right to claim Hope. Poor child.  she will be so broken to know what kind of monsters her dad and grandma are.  so it’s better this way jerk. I hope you understand. how’s your mom?  her mother in law never really liked her much. poor mom that’s why she never liked me.  we were both rats in our previous lives.  say hi to her anyway.  I miss her.  she reminds me of those Nigerian characters. hahaha! by now we are already forty five minutes into the air for our one way trip to Europe. like for real. grandma  said to tell you bye that’s why I wrote this letter. see I didn’t want you stopping us on our way. that’s why I had to start with the memoirs. be safe jerk.

with all the love
peris ( hope and grandma)

By Wambui Ochieng'

Radical Feminist

16 thoughts on “Oh! Was it Jack? My bad”
  1. Ohh my! Believe me you got great talent. I like how you recreate the images of what happened in the past in Jerk’s mind, and how you reposition the words that his mother said to you in your situation.

    This is a nice job, a teaching to us guys, and an encouragement to you ladies, that “being left is not the end of the road”, and that “It’s never always leaving for greener pastures, it may only land you to a desert”

    Your work however, would be more compelling if you did more editing, made beter use of puntuation and capitalization. You know you have to control the reader, in a way they feel the stepsbyou take in writing. As a writer, I am sure you know what I mean.

  2. Nice one gal..would love to know jerk’s reply to this piece of writing gues it would be equally painful….

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