We’ve all dealt with a Simon Leviev or his brother, the king of toxicity and manipulation, Future. These people should honestly just join the Avatar franchise as Reality Benders. They can morph your reality out of shape to make you believe them.
While there’s a lot to be said about the glorification of manipulative men in society, today we’re just trying to shed some light on some of the signs to help you spot a manipulative partner from a mile and a half away, preferably before it’s too late. The cherry on the cake is that we’re also going to be discussing how to curve and deal with those Simon’s and Future’s
So let’s talk about 10 signs He is Manipulating you and how to Navigate.
1.Gaslight and Guiltrip
One thing about a manipulative partner is that they will make you think you’re crazy. “So you’re going to believe your eyes over me? “and other short stories that make you question your sanity. They’re dependent on the fact that you’ll believe them in any situation. The way to avoid being gaslighted is to present undeniable evidence. Then stand behind your decision so as not to enable them. This should top the list of 10 signs He is Manipulating you and how to Navigate.
Love bombing is that one person on your phone who wants to marry you after only knowing you for a week. They’ll bombard you with compliments, pleasantries, and gifts. They insist on how right you are for each other and how strongly they feel for you. Girl! Run!!!! Let’s leave love at first sight in our good old Disney days. More often than not, this person is hiding something and hoping to trap you… So strap up your Nike shoes and run.
3.Undermining your confidence.
The easiest way for a manipulative person to make you want to stay with them is by making you feel like you cannot do better than them, “Sisi ndio tuko” and the cousins. They make you feel like they’re doing you a favor by being with them. If you leave, you won’t find another person who’ll “love” you like they do. The truth is, you should PRAY not to find someone like them. You ARE good enough. You WILL find someone better. Always remember that and act like it.
4.Fake nice guy
Oh, my days! Let me preface this by saying, if it seems too good to be true, that’s because it probably IS. Undeniably, there are nice people, but even Mother Veronica had a bit of controversy… Sometimes it’s a technique to rope you in. Then, when you’re too far down the love tunnel, the real side begins to come out. The trick is to be observant. It’s often hard to maintain a façade. You’re bound to catch them slipping a time or two, so when you do, believe them and hit the road!
5.Shit-talking their exes
Yk, that one guy who always has crazy psycho exes? All his exes apparently spawn from the 7th circle of hell and are out to destroy his soul. Welllllll, he’s probably the reason they’re crazy… and when he’s done with you, you’ll be on that list too. These ones often do outrageous things and then blame their exes for reacting and labelling them crazy. You want to stay away from anyone who talks in a derogatory way about people they once claimed to love.
6.You cannot express yourself
If you need to constantly walk on eggshells around a person you’re with, to the point that you can’t have a conversation expressing your feelings without being afraid it will upset them, Chances are, you know they will turn your emotions against you or paint you as the bad guy. Bottomline is, if you don’t feel safe, they’re pulling some strings. Set boundaries. Be clear that when a boundary is crossed, there will be consequences. Insist you will not rescind them under any circumstances.
Instead of addressing any issues, these people prefer the kindergarten approach. They say everything is okay, but their actions say the contrary. Like, if you’re so okay, unclench your jaw babe. Why do you look ready to get into the ring with Dave Bautista, lol? Try to discourage this by explicitly stating that you do not support this behavior. If they continue, ignore them until they’re straightforward about it.
8.Loud words but inaudible action
Let’s hear a round of applause for Mr. False Promises himself! …Such as with the breadcrumber. This is a person who keeps you in the relationship with the pledge of being better. They say whatever else you want to hear, but never follows up with actions. If you don’t have the ability to change the person you’re with, change the person you’re with. Yeah, read that again until it sinks in.
This is the “woiye woiye” person whose main weapon is to make you feel like you’re the one hurting them. They act as they’re the victim. When you bring up something they did, they find a way to turn it on you. They’ll often say things like the infamous “this is the work of the devil”. Other say, “I cheated because you were denying me sex”… I don’t know what to tell you if you can blame a villain from a best-selling storybook for the actions of your partner. I received sense, thanks.
10.They’re an angel to everyone else BUT you
This one has to be the most irritating when you’re the only one who sees through someone’s bullshit. Everyone else thinks they’re deputy Jesus, incapable of hurting anyone. They present a false front when you’re in public or in front of your family and friends. Behind closed doors, it’s a different story. Unless you want to end up as the next homicide headline on KTN, just say deuces, and rejoin the market.
These are just some of the signs to be on the lookout for. If you suspect that your strings are being pulled, Always remember that there are 8 billion people in the world. Kang’ethe from Gicagi, who is manipulative, is definitely not THE one. You will find someone better, and you will find happiness because you are worthy of it.
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